Well, that was the first thing I noticed today. The second…. there are a lot of great movies coming out next year! I am really excited to see The Avengers movie. I have really loved all the movies leading up to this movie. I can not wait to see all of these Marvel comic book icons in one film. And the way that they gave each of them a back story with thier own movie was really a wise move. The problem with the X-Men movies is that they had so many characters and you didn’t really get a chance to get to know any of them. There are so many stories and so much history for each character.  

I won’t go into depth on all the movies that I am looking forward to, but I will give a little list….

Men in Black 3 ,  Wrath of the Titans,  UnderWorld the Awakening,  The Dark Knight Rises (Especially this one) , GI Joe 2 

There are so many movies and so little time. I will be talking more about these movies as I see them.    As for right now, I have to get back to work. I have just a few more weeks until my little one is due to be born. That means I have just a few more weeks of work left in me!  So, I better get back to it!! You all have a great night!!

With the whirlwind that is my life, I haven’t had a lot of time lately to reflect on the fact that I won’t have her with me this year. But today I started my holiday traditions with a little baking and it hit me that I am the one that has to carry on these traditions since my mother won’t be doing it as well this year. My heart began to ache.

But then something funny happened. Just when I was starting to feel a wave of saddness wash over me, my little girl kicked and my thoughts went immediatly to her. In that moment, I knew that I was now the momma and I was the one that has to pass on these traditions to her and to give her the wonderful childhood and memories and love that my mother gave me. So, this year, I dedicate Christmas to my mother and my daughter. I feel a sense of purpose and a feeling of obligation that I am still getting use to. I have always been the baby girl to my momma and now, without her around and my daughter on the way, I am the momma and waiting for my baby girl.

Its funny how life keeps the cycle going. No matter what we do, life goes on. The world doesn’t stop for my broken heart. But now the pain doesn’t hurt as much with the love I am already feeling for my baby girl. And on that day when she is born, I know my mother will be watching over me and smiling.

Here is a picture of me and my momma when I was a little girl. 

What painting you ask? Well, I am doing a painting for the Never Quit Never event. Its a very good cause and the event seems to be growing by leaps and bounds every year. They have asked me to make a mermaid painting for their event this year.  I of course accepted! But like I said there is a deadline, so I am working at a fast pace in order to get this painting done. Click here  for the photo of me and the start of this painting!

As you can see in the photo of my workspace, I have completed the pencil stage of the painting. I have also laid down a layer of workable fixative so that when I lay down my paint, the pencil won’t get pulled up. I would hate for the lead to muddy my colors. Next, I am going to go on to work on the background. This is out of the ordinary for me since I don’t really paint backgrounds. But I have been wanting to start adding them and what better way then to jump in with both feet! If you can see behind me, you will see all the inspiration that I am pulling from. Mostly Boris Vallejo and Julie Bell paintings. Their color palette and striking figures provide the right inspiration for a painting like this. I photographed the very lovely Lana Kinnear for this painting and she was wonderful to work with! She was also the model for my White Rabbit Painting!

Once the background is done, then I will be moving on to the other figures in the piece and then finally will arrive at the mermaid herself. If you can see the mock up photo I put together, you will get an idea of what the overall piece will look like. I don’t want to give too much away yet…I like anticipation!

Of course, there are other commissions that I am working on at the moment as well. I am currently drawing an alternative version of Princess Leia. This piece is going to be very hot!! How could it not? I photographed Septembers Pent House Pet Emily Addison for the piece! I will post WIPs of that once they are ready. Emily was the beautiful model that posed for my Cheshire Cat painting! There are other commissions I am working on at this time as well and if you are interested in getting a commission for your holiday gift giving this year, now is the time to let me know. I offer a wide range of styles and pricing to fit almost every budget.

And yes, I plan on doing my Alice painting for my Wonderland Series.  I plan on starting her once this Mermaid painting is complete. I just hope that I am not too big to sit at my desk by that time. The model for Alice is the very beautiful Vanessa Lake.

Oh! and one more thing! I am going to be doing a collaboration with a very talented and very gifted well known comic book artist. I talked to him the other day and we came up with a really cool idea. If all goes to plan, we will have a very cool limited edition available in the new year!

So, there you have it! Lots of projects and things to work on. Some for others, some for myself! But all awesome ideas and all are a lot of fun.  

Hugs from your friendly neighborhood Pinup Artist Nicole!!

Ok, now that that is out of the way, on to happy stuff!!

Ok, First things first, Comic con went very well for me. I had a blast dressing up as Rogue. I have loved that character for as long as I can remember and for a whole day, I was Rogue! People were talking to me as if I was really Rogue. IT WAS AWESOME! I did do a photoshoot in the outfit a week later and I will be posting some of those photos as soon as I can!  Comic Con was great even when I was not in costume. Every day I was talking to fans that would seek out the booth just to see my new works. I have to admit, thats an amazing feeling. I work so hard to improve my art and to challenge myself with each new piece so that I can learn new techniques and textures and to have people following my work and collecting it as I go along makes all that hard work so worth while! I also was approached my more companies looking to carry my products and some that want to liscense my work for their lines. I am very excited for what the future is going to bring!

Some of new products are now up for sale on the http://www.pinupworldart.com/ site.  Just scroll down on the home page until you see new products and there you will find my metal signs and my first ever clock. I do stress the “first” part. I will be making more in the future with lots of different designs.  I am planning on launching a wonderland series of clocks as well   I am also planning on making Thermometors too! Hey, we all need to know how hot or cold it is outside….why not let one of my paintings decorate it for you!  Also, PinUp World Art has changed their company logo to my Dark Fantasy Fairy. Out with the old, in with the new!!

And speaking of my wonderland series, The White Rabbit was another welcome edition to the series and she made a big splash at comic con. I had all three of my wonderland pieces out for purchase and I had a hard time keeping them in stock! I am so glad that people were liking her. Next up is the Cheshire Cat…. and believe me, this is not your average looking cheshire cat. The model that I am going to be using is Emily Addison….septembers Pent House Pet. Super nice girl!! Love her to pieces!

I have also been recieving a lot of commissions lately. I am extremely pleased that all of them are cool ideas and that they will be A LOT of fun to do.  So, between that and getting my own stuff done, I am a bit on the busy side. But thats ok.  I need to get as much art done in the next few months because come the end of January, I am going to be a lot slower with my work.

Why am I going to be slower you ask? Well, the answer to that is that I am a little over 4 months pregnant and when the baby gets here……well, I have a feeling I am going to be busy. Extremely happy, but busy!  I have had my first ultrasound and sonogram so I have seen and heard my baby. Everything checks out great and things are progressing nicely! I am so excited to add to our family. After the past few years, I needed some happiness. I go in for my next DR. appointment next week and then I get my next ultrasound to find out if I am having a son or daughter! Its a very exciting and happy time for me.  Thank you all who have sent me notes and comments of excitment and love and support!  Thankyou all for everything.

Ok, back to art! I have a few big things on the horizon. Including custom shirts. I will be going over that soon in my next journal!!!  I have a few more conventions to do this year and then next year I will be doing even more stuff, including Comic Con again!!

Ok, that is all for now. I promise, I won’t go so long inbetween journals/blogs again. There is just too much stuff to talk about!  And if you have any questions or anything, please leave me a comment!  Eh, you can leave me a comment anyway!!

*NOTE: This blog entry was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on August 22nd, 2011 at 12:15 pm.

But I have learned something. I have learned that when life takes some thing precious away from you, God gives you some thing else in return. For example, last year I lost my beloved cat Goner (yes, I know the name is ironic). After thinking how I lost the best pet anyone could have ever wished for, low and behold, God gave me his great great great grandson. And he is like a clone. Its amazing how similar they are. They look identical and act the same way. Now, I get to have my cat all over again. Its a miracle.

But on to my announcements. I told you all I would tell you all the amazing new things I will be having at comic con this year. Well, the wait it over, Here they are.

1. I am pleased to announce the Limited Edition of  “Dark Fantasy“.  She is 16 x24 and is on heavy stock fine art paper (Hanemhule German etching 350 gsm). There is a limit of 50 of these and from the reaction I got for her when I posted her, she is not going to stay in stock Plus, one of the days at comic con, Model Emily Addison will be at the booth signing the open edition of this print. Its even better when you can get the model and the artists signature on the piece! So, you better come on by and get yours!!!

2. Drum Sticks!! I am pleased to announce two new sets of drum sticks. These sticks will feature my art. The first set I have features “Feeling Lucky“  the second features “This is for Fighting, These are for Fun” and the third features “CA Girl” (which is a drawing of me). Here is a picture of a fan with a set of “Feeling Lucky” Drum Sticks

3. New Vintage Metal Signs!!!!!  These are different from my metal prints that I have featured before. These are the vintage metal signs that have become all the rage all over the country. These are reminicsent of the old tin signs that were hung up in garages in the 50s and 60s. We have three great designs!!

4. I will now have clocks for sale. You can get your favorite art of mine on a clock! What better way to see what time it is than to glance over at a piece of my art to tell you! This first design features my piece “I Do Belive In Fairies”

5. The White Rabbit!!! Yes, she will be complete and will be debuted at comic con 2011. After that, she will be shown all over the internet. But to get to see her first and be the first to get a print, you will need to be at comic con. Sexy model Ashliegh Star will be there signing along with me. I dont have the exact day, but I will let you know as soon as I know!

6. This is just plain cool! I will be launching a new branch to the PinUp World Art site. This new part to the site will allow people to design their own t-shirts, sweat shirts, Baby clothes etc….. with my art work. So, you can use my art or even your artwork and make your own clothes. TAGGERS!!!! You will be able to upload your favorite tag and put it on a shirt. Just think of it, you can use your favorite tag and make a shirt. But please, get permission from the artist and the liscensing company if you are using art other then mine.  We are working dilegently to have this up and running by comic con. If it works out, we will have a kiosk at our booth where you can make you own shirts and other things right there!! Plus, we will offer at show discounts!!

7. A friend of mine is having a custom Rogue outfit made for me for comic con. I will be wearing it on Saturday!! Come by our booth and take a picture with me!! It is being made by the very talented TWIN BEES!

So, that is all my Comic Con news. I am so excited for all the new products. I have been working so hard this year. And with everything that has happened, it has been very hard, to say the least, to get things done. With dealing with all the heart ache and moving, its been rough.

Now on to my other news. My personal news. I am expecting my first child. My husband John and I are going to be parents. So, trying to paint while dealing with exhaustion and morning sickness is extremely difficult!!! But we are tickled pink! We are so excited. That means next year when we do comic con,  we will have our son or daughter with us.  We will have our own little comic book nerd!! Right now, I am 12 weeks pregnant! I have a long way to go, so I am going to be painting like crazy so I can take some time off when the baby comes.  I am just so excited to be adding to our happy family.

And this brings me back to what I was saying earlier. When life takes away from you, God gives you something to help ease the pain. My mother died Feb. 1st of this year. My baby is due around Feb. 1st. of next year. Never give up on life, just keep an eye out for the silver lining.

Love and Hugs to you all!

Nicole Brune – Your Friendly Neighborhood Pinup Artist!!

*NOTE: This blog entry was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on July 12th, 2011 at 10:56 am.

Ok, so, now that Pirates 4 is out of the way, its time to start focusing on the next movie on my calendar. I post up on my wall the dates of the opening of each movie that I want to go see. On my list:  Hangover 2, X-men First Class, Green Lantern, Transformers 3. Harry Potter 7.5/8,  Captain America and Cowboys and Aliens.   Those are just my summer movies. I am also looking forward to Conan this year too! I have read that next year then next Wolverine Movie will come out and so will the next Batman! Oh Ya!!

So ya, I am a movie girl. I don’t go to as many as I used to in my younger days, but there are just too many good movies that I really really need to see this year. Plus, distraction lately is a very very good thing.

I also saw Thor a couple of weeks ago. I saw it opening day of course!! It was really good. I have no complaints. I liked the Hawkeye cameo in the movie too!! Hawkeye of course is going to be in the Avengers Movie. That will be fantastic!! I am so looking forward to the Avengers Movie.

And for an update on my art, I am still working on the skin of the rabbit. She is coming along fantastic. I am also going to be painting my new fairy drawing on livestream sometime next week. I won;t paint the whole thing in one session (it takes a lot longer than that) but I will be doing more than one session for people to watch. I will be posting up a schedule as best as I can on monday or tuesday.

So, everyone have a great weekend and I will talk to you again soon!!

Nicole ~ Your Friendly Neighborhood PinUp Artist!

*NOTE: This blog entry was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on May 21st, 2011 at 10:59 am.

First, I am going to be in a movie. In fact, I am the star of the movie. How did I get the roll you ask? Especially since I have never acted before? Well, thats true, I have no prior acting experience. But thats ok! The director loves my look and my personality and wanted me to be in the movie. So, you are looking at the lead for the upcoming movie “Chicks & Chainsaws” Its a horror/comedy. I think more comedy than horror.

Second, I had dinner the other night with the coolest couple I know. Mr Steve and Josie Stevens. They met with my husband and I at a nice little sushi place up in hollywood and we talked about many things. Lots of stuff about my art, lots of stuff about Josie and all her adventures (I can’t spill the beans) and what stuff Steve is working on (can’t spill that either). But one thing that I can say is that they both expressed intrest in coming down to Comic Con again and Josie signing at my booth!! So, if you have ever wanted to meet the Queen of Married to Rock, come to my booth at comic con. Of course, they have a hectic schedule and if something comes up that they can’t get out of, they may have to bow out from attending SDCC. But right now, it looks like they will be hanging out with me! So, you can get three pieces signed by Josie…”Madness” ” This is for fighting, These are for fun” and “Hell’s Belle” So don’t miss out on the opportunity to come by and get two sets of signatures! The artist and the model!!

Third is the I have started on the White Rabbit. I know you never thought this day would come. I couldn’t disappoint you since I know how much you have been looking forward to it. So far, I have completed the face.  Hopefully I will be able to post photos of it tonight! I have wanted to do this painting for so long and I kept having to put it off becuase of commissions. Now I am working it in with all the other commissions that I am doing. I am a very busy girl. But I will be debuting this painting at the SDCC. We have a fantastic location again this year! Right next to the Fox booth. Plus we have a new booth set up so that we will be able to hang up even more art then ever before. So come by and see all the hot are from some of the best artists from around the world….And Me Too!!!

Fourth and lastly is Comic Con itself. Like I said, we have a great location and great new set up. But the biggest news is all the new products that I am going to be launching. I am going to start producing some great stuff soon! I don’t want to give away the surprise, but I am going way beyond T-Shirts. I am going to have some kick ass products!! I will be announcing the products right before comic con. That way you can budget a bit and know what you want to come pick up from my booth!!

So, there you have it. I am working a mile a minute and I am loving every second of it! Hope you all are as excited as I am!!

Sincerely,

Nicole – Your Friendly Neighborhood PinUp Artist!!

*NOTE: This blog entry was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on May 17th, 2011 at 9:52 pm.

The other night I had the opportunity to go hang out with the extremely talented and incredibly nice Lorenzo Sperlonga. For those of you who don’t know his work, you should look him up!  check out his work at www.lorenzosperlonga.com. He has some talent! My husband and I drove up to see him and his lovely wife for a nice dinner at their home!  It was the first time at their new place and I was so thrilled to be able to walk around and see so many of Lorenzo’s piece hung up on the walls. But I was even more thrilled to see my painting of “Heartless” (the queen of hearts) hanging on his wall. Of course, its of his beautiful wife, Anastasia! It was so cool!! It was cool also to see the painting that Lorenzo did of me. The super awesome painting “Baroness“.

Lorenzo and I talked a lot about the world of being a pinup artist. It was interesting sharing stories of commissions and telling tales of shooting models and how much it enhances a painting by having the perfect model pose for the piece. We had a really nice evening and talked until late that night. It was so nice just being able to sit around while having drinks and great conversations with friends. And talking to someone who has done as much as Lorenzo and has as much talent as Lorenzo is always a pleasure for me. He is so down to earth and has no ego.

His beautiful wife was so warm and sweet. She made a terrific dinner for us and had a wonderful laugh.  And on top of that, she is a beautiful model!! She is the reason my painting was so terrific!

Sometimes, its the casual evenings that can revitalize the soul. Thanks to my good friends and my husband for such a nice evening!

*NOTE: This blog entry was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on April 29th, 2011 at 4:53 pm.

First, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have sent me notes and comments of love and support. I have really needed it and it has helped me tremendously.

second, the universe tends to level itself out. You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have the facts of life. But seriously, the universe tends to be pretty balanced. So, my guess is that I have a lot of good coming my way. I am really looking forward to that.

third, I need to start taking naps.

Thursday night was my friend Jeff’s memorial service which was put on my my husband and I. I gave the eulogy. I really wanted to say something that would help ease the pain that people were feeling and from the responses I got after ward, I believe I did reach that goal. I didn’t take the pain away, but I helped them realize the good and to be at peace with the whole situation. Once my part was done, I had numerous drinks and had many laughs and quite a few tears. It was a very emotional evening and I was on a rollercoaster. Then to top it off, I went to bed incredibly late, slept horribly and then woke up early. So, like I said, I need a nap.

But life balances out. I know good is coming. I have been getting more and more commissions and I am constantly working on them. I have some terrific photo references from photos shoots for my upcoming paintings and they are going to be terrific. I have new products in the works and plan on debuting a lot of them this year at comic con. I just have a lot of good already starting to make its way back into my life.

So again, thank you all so much for all the love and support. I really appreciate it. Bless you all so much!

*NOTE: This blog story was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on April 9th, 2011 at 11:43 am.

Then I got in my car in the morning light. I had my drive home. And I cried the whole way. I broke. It clicked. I lost another one. I lost a friend. I lost a brother. I lost another family member. Not a blood family member like the others, but a family member all the same. This is why I considered him family.

I met Jeff a long long time ago. When I first started modeling, I went to a place called the model center. Its a modeling school where they teach you posing and makeup tips and put together a portfolio for you to get you your big start. It didnt work. But what it did do was introduce me and my husband (who went to every class with me…..thats why he is excellent at makeup and runway walks) to a very crazy makeup artist. This guy had a public access tv show where he interviewed celebrities. He wanted John (my hubby) to help him. So, we were young and had bright eyes to the future so we agreed. The show didn;t do much for us but what it did do was introduce us to a very very talented videograher and editor named Jeff. John Jeff and I became really really great friends and when we all decided to not work on that show anymore, we stayed in touch. It wasn;t long before we were getting invited to parties at jeffs house. There we met a plethora of other now really really close friends. We were over at that party house more and more. Until finally one roommate moved out and John moved in. I still lived at home with my parents…..rent free! But it was great becuase I could hang out at johns party house now all the time. It was excellent! We had so many parties and there were so many people there all the time. We would have a party and there would be a hundred people there and I didn’t know 90 of them. But it was a lot of fun. 20 years old and hanging out with great friends and having a club in house is a great deal!

So, after a while, John and Jeff started working on projects together. John was into webdesign and Jeff was into videography. John had the brains and level head and jeff had a seemingly never ending supply of projects from random people that he would me. They were always working. Then I really started getting into modeling. I caught the eye of a bikini company and I did a photo shoot for them. John of course came with me and started talking to the owner and was telling him all the stuff and his partner jeff did. The owner was interseted and asked them to come to their events. So, we started going to their club events where I would compete with other models for a chance to go to jamaica for a calendar shoot and the guys would film it and do their web videos for them. Of course, I won right away and we all went to jamaica. Me as a model and makeup artist and the guys as videographer. John had learned by then and was doing video as well. They loved it all so much, that we got to go again the next time they went. This time, John was a photographer. He had picked up a camera right before he left for the trip, read the instruction book on the flight over and by day three of the trip he was taking photos that were quickly picked up by a magazine and was published. It was an MMA magazine. MMA Fightzone if I remember correctly. They were so pleased with his work that they asked him to do another photoshoot for them with me, another model that they saw photos of from jamaica (it was april, the girl I drew as the green tailed mermaid and the one that I body painted……the one that is in the hot tub with me) and a fighter in a gym setting. So, we went down to a gym that specialized in mma training. While we were there, we met several of the fighters who were training and some of the trainers. we took their photos and jeff did video and interviewed them. He was fantastic when it came to stuff like that. We sent in the footage and the owner called immediatly. Apparently, one of the trainers was a well known fighter and the magazine owner wanted more content on him. So, we called the fighter/trainer and told him we wanted to do a follow up interview. He told us of an upcoming fight that he was putting on with his business partner and we should come out and film it. So, we did. John did photography, Jeff filmed, I was on camera talent. I was the one doing the interviewing. After the fight, the fighter/trainer came to our house (by this time, we had moved out of the party house into a much nicer place and set up a full blown studio/office) and viewed the footage. He was blown away. He asked us then and there to partner with him and start doing fights. He would be the promoter match maker and john and jeff would be the producers. Of course, we said yes.

Jeff was the happiest when we were doing fights. He loved doing them. He would set up in a room and create a studio and film interview all the fighters. Of course, this all had to be the night before the fight because that was the only time the fighters would be available. He would then stay up all night working and making the video announcments for the fighters to come out to. Each fighter had a mini interview playing on the big screen right before their music would play and they would make it out to the cage. It was so much work, but jeff excelled. He did an amazing job.

We did several more fights. We did fights in Susanville with Ken Shamrock, we did the first ever all womens mma fight event in california as well as the largest all womens fight card. We did fights at convention centers, we did fights in theatres on the stage and we even did one at the shrine. It was fantastic.

Even when were weren’t doing fights, we were still always together. The three of us were always together. everything we did, no matter what it was, we did it together. and most of it is filmed and documented because jeff filmed everything. we have countless hours of parties on tape. We have randomness on tape. Jeff became our adopted son in a way. John and I looked after him. We would make sure he was on time for appointments, made sure he was eating right, cooked for him, cleaned up after him…….basically took care of him. But we didn’t mind. Even when his parents would come out for a visit, they would tell him to listen to John and I and do what we tell him. They put us in charge.

Jeff had big dreams. He wanted to be a millionare. Who doesn’t right? Well, Jeff would work on any project he felt had that potential. Most did. He had stars in his eyes. Jeff was really disappointed when we stopped doing the fights because he loved it so much. But we kept working on other projects. My art became a big thing for us. We would do photo shoots and jeff would film them and make videos. But eventually, he got bored with that and found a new pipe dream to follow. He started working for a company that promised him the moon. Meanwhile, John and I continued to work on my art. Eventually our work and his took us in different directions. He was doing his thing and we were doing ours. But we still did everything else together. We still lived together. It wasn’t too much longer after John and I were married that we decided to get our own place. Jeff found another couple who were friends of ours to move in with and we got our own place. Jeff would still come out and help out at conventions that we did and we would see each other at friends parties. But it was nothing like those good old days. We had all entered the next stage of our lives. But even though that had happened, we still had that friendship deep inside our hearts. We still had love for each other. Jeff was our brother, our son and our friend.

Jeff was the guy that would run up and down the stairs at 2 am everynight becuase he had too much energy……of course, he usually slept till 2pm and that might have contributed to the late nights, but still he ran up and down the stairs. Of course the energy drinks at midnight didn’t help either. Jeff loved basketball. He would grab a basketball of his own to watch the game and yell out what the players would do and then he would proceed to show them using said ball. Jeff loved Lean Cusine. Why? Who the hell knows. But he did. Every night…..right around 2am after he would come running down the stairs, he would microwave up a lean cuisine. I know this because jeff alwas seemed to leave the boxes and wrappers all over the counter. Jeff loved golf. He could have gone pro….but professionals got up too early….before noon. He was very good and would practice his swing in the living room with his club. Another motherly moment from me, I would always scold him and tell him to go play outside! Jeff loved the casino. He constantly watched the world series of poker on tv and loved going to the casino. He claimed it wasn’t gambling if you always win. He didn’t ever catch on that he didn’t always win. Jeff wanted to be a samauri. He bought swords and had them on a shelf in the living room. This too he would practice in the house. Mother Nikki would sho him outside and he would then go practice on the bushes outside. He became the samurai gardener. Jeff Had a mating ritual. At the party house, were tons of new girls would come over for parties, Jeff always followed the same routine. First, he would zero in on a girl…..then he would talk to her a bit and that would soon be followed by his flexing subtly in front of her. Then they would end up outside and he would show her his skills on the heavy bag……and then of course, somehow she would end up being thrown over his shoulder. The girl was always giddy and giggling with delight at this point. Soon after that they would disappear and we would see her the next morning coming out of his room. He had game.

I have a lot of stories of jeff. Hell, I have the videos to back it up. If I did that, you would be reading for an even longer time. I am sure most did not make it to this point. Its hard to read this much on some strangers life. But I wanted to illustrate the love I had for this man. My husband and I really loved him. He was Jeff. He was our brother. Our Son, Our friend. And even though we parted not that long ago in our lives to do other things, that love was still there. I still had that soft spot for him. I had that protectiveness that I have always had. When I saw him being brought down early yesterday morning, I just couldnt believe what was happening. I still can’t. Even while I write this, there is a part of me that is saying, “no, he is just at the casino. Or maybe he is back in florida visiting his family.” But its true. Its something that I have to deal with. Something I have to accept. He is number four. But he is so much more then that. He is more then number four, He was my Jeff.

*NOTE: This blog story was transferred from my previous blog location and was written on March 23rd, 2011 at 4:22am.